Meditation, mindfulness, quiet time. No matter what you prefer to call it, this is something that I understand the benefits of and would love nothing more to have, but I cannot stop my brain long enough to achieve it. I spend all day thinking about what is next, what I have to do later, how I am going to fit it in my schedule and then creating that schedule in my head to a point where I can visualize a calendar. It is a vicious cycle. I want to learn and continue to practice mindfulness, but now I am thinking so much about how I need to practice and what I need to do to achieve it that it has become another checklist item on my mental to-do list.
A visual representation of my mental schedule being dumped in my notes app for today. And yes, I finished this blog by 11am.
In a recent class session for an Education course focused on preparing juniors and seniors for the job search and a career, we took the Clifton Strengths Assessment. We took this survey to determine our strengths and how to leverage them through the application and interview process. Of course, my results did not surprise me. I know they contribute to the never-ending need to be organized and on schedule in my mind.
1) Futuristic. I am inspired by the future and what could be. I love sharing my dreams and goals with others. I invest time in creating the future that I want. My vivid picture of the future propels me to action. My ability to think about the future feeds my desire to be the very best.
2) Focus. I prioritize, then act on it. I can take direction, follow through, make corrections and stay on track. I desire to take control of my life and do not want to leave anything to chance. I persevere and push myself until I have completed the task at hand or reached my goal. My judgment is sound and allows me to give my undivided attention to long-term goals.
3) Achiever. I find satisfaction in being busy and productive. I delight in and find success in juggling multiple tasks at a time, the challenge keeps me moving forward. I naturally focus on what needs to be done now and that feeds my desire to produce meaningful results every day.
4) Deliberative. I am best described by taking serious care in the decisions I make. I study all the options before reacting, being cautious of who is around and who is listening. I most definitely weigh the consequences of my actions before acting. I prefer to have a small, close-knit group in which I feel safe to share my inner thoughts.
5) Responsibility. I take ownership of everything I say and do. I volunteer rather than wait to be assigned duties, and I always follow through. My attention to detail is noticeable in all that I do. I strive to be a dependable person. In times of chaos or stress, my need for order and structure intensifies.
I shared all of this because it explains why I am constantly thinking ahead and getting things done, so I can check it off my list and continue toward my goals. If anyone knows of a job in the sports marketing/Ad/PR industry where these skills are desired, let me know. Seriously.
Finally, here are some of my attempts at achieving mindfulness and how I have tried to find what works for me. I tried to just sit in bed, listen to music and clear my thoughts. This did calm me down and allow me to relax, but my brain did not stop. I have tried going on walks with and without music. It worked at first, until I realized how much I had left to do. Attempting to fall asleep at night is the worst part of the day. I recently tried to listen to Matthew McConaughey and Harry Styles read me bed time stories on Spotify. I did eventually fall asleep, but it took longer than expected.
Images courtesy of Calm.
What I have found to work is listening to The Office or How I Met Your Mother on my phone next to my pillow. I do not watch it because I have read that looking at the little screen actually stimulates the brain when trying to fall asleep. So, I just listen. Because I have seen these shows so many times I know what is happening in my mind. By picturing the scenes in my head, it finally slows my brain from thinking of my checklist for the next day. For now, this will just have to work.
Head image courtesy of Google.
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